Post by justinpoole on Mar 20, 2009 3:47:47 GMT -5
Justin Pooles guide to partying in moderation!!
These are not rules that can be followed by just any random dude or lady. These are guidelines for pushing your partying as extreme as it can get with out dying or going bankrupt.
Rule #1:Try to limit time spent alone. Constant time spent partying alone leads to major addictions, bankruptcy, and finally death. Try and surround yourself with as many rad dudes and awesome ladies as possible at all times. Spend rare days alone, resting and reflecting on how rad your life is.
Rule #2:Try to always have a good time. No one likes the dick at the parties starting fights with people or yelling at his girlfriend. Knock it off with the dramatic BS. It isnt cute. Instead, relax and have fun. You will become a much more awesome person.
Rule #3:Never waste alcohol. This is a amateur move. You do not leave half full beers sitting around and you do not spill things. Every beer you waste is a beer someone who parties harder than you could have drank. Dont be a flat liner man.
Now enough of the rules, now on to the amounts of drugs and alcohol you should consume and other rad things you should do if you want to party like Justin Poole.
Tip # 1:NEVER take coke more than once a week. If you start using a few times a week, you will get addicted and it will suck. Sticking to once a week at the most, you limit spending and save lots of money! And maybe your heart!
Tip # 2:Drinking 5-6 nights a week is not only acceptable but encouraged. You can just stop in a few years and save whats left of your liver. Now is the time for you to party and you should party as hard as your body will let you!
Tip # 3:If you're buying the good ****, dont buy weed. Anyone with weed that knows you have some coke, acid, shrooms, heroin or some good pills is going to be willing to smoke some weed with you for a taste of what you've got.
Tip # 4:Never do heroin more than twice a month. If you start doing it more often you will keep doing it more and more often until it leads to guess what? Addiction, Bankruptcy, and DEATH. Save this **** for special occasions. Like you and a lady friend spending a romantic evening alone.
Tip # 5:Mushrooms will open your mind. If you are feeling confused about something going on in your life, take a magical journey on the wings of the all mighty fungus. Take a trip to the park with some classical music, a loaf of bread and a notebook. Feed the ducks bro. This is known as partying with nature.
Tip # 6:Mix everclear with gatorade. Just do it.
Tip # 7:Raid the fridge at the house where the party is being held.
Tip # 8:Never take pills more than three times a week. It doesnt matter what kind of pills, just dont do it. You will totally get addicted, you'll probably waste some cashflow, and there is this crazy chance that you may die.
Tip # 9:Use condoms and only have sex with girls who are on birthcontrol. Or dont use condoms and have sex with girls on birthcontrol. Or I guess you could not wear condoms and **** girls who arent on birth control and just pull out. That works, right?
Tip # 10:Never, ever trust a nasty hippy.
There you have it folks, a few helpful guidelines and the top ten tips you need to learn how to party like a true broke ass rockstar.
These are not rules that can be followed by just any random dude or lady. These are guidelines for pushing your partying as extreme as it can get with out dying or going bankrupt.
Rule #1:Try to limit time spent alone. Constant time spent partying alone leads to major addictions, bankruptcy, and finally death. Try and surround yourself with as many rad dudes and awesome ladies as possible at all times. Spend rare days alone, resting and reflecting on how rad your life is.
Rule #2:Try to always have a good time. No one likes the dick at the parties starting fights with people or yelling at his girlfriend. Knock it off with the dramatic BS. It isnt cute. Instead, relax and have fun. You will become a much more awesome person.
Rule #3:Never waste alcohol. This is a amateur move. You do not leave half full beers sitting around and you do not spill things. Every beer you waste is a beer someone who parties harder than you could have drank. Dont be a flat liner man.
Now enough of the rules, now on to the amounts of drugs and alcohol you should consume and other rad things you should do if you want to party like Justin Poole.
Tip # 1:NEVER take coke more than once a week. If you start using a few times a week, you will get addicted and it will suck. Sticking to once a week at the most, you limit spending and save lots of money! And maybe your heart!
Tip # 2:Drinking 5-6 nights a week is not only acceptable but encouraged. You can just stop in a few years and save whats left of your liver. Now is the time for you to party and you should party as hard as your body will let you!
Tip # 3:If you're buying the good ****, dont buy weed. Anyone with weed that knows you have some coke, acid, shrooms, heroin or some good pills is going to be willing to smoke some weed with you for a taste of what you've got.
Tip # 4:Never do heroin more than twice a month. If you start doing it more often you will keep doing it more and more often until it leads to guess what? Addiction, Bankruptcy, and DEATH. Save this **** for special occasions. Like you and a lady friend spending a romantic evening alone.
Tip # 5:Mushrooms will open your mind. If you are feeling confused about something going on in your life, take a magical journey on the wings of the all mighty fungus. Take a trip to the park with some classical music, a loaf of bread and a notebook. Feed the ducks bro. This is known as partying with nature.
Tip # 6:Mix everclear with gatorade. Just do it.
Tip # 7:Raid the fridge at the house where the party is being held.
Tip # 8:Never take pills more than three times a week. It doesnt matter what kind of pills, just dont do it. You will totally get addicted, you'll probably waste some cashflow, and there is this crazy chance that you may die.
Tip # 9:Use condoms and only have sex with girls who are on birthcontrol. Or dont use condoms and have sex with girls on birthcontrol. Or I guess you could not wear condoms and **** girls who arent on birth control and just pull out. That works, right?
Tip # 10:Never, ever trust a nasty hippy.
There you have it folks, a few helpful guidelines and the top ten tips you need to learn how to party like a true broke ass rockstar.
